{ m i s s i o _ d e i }

Delicious Ambiguity

deacmegmeg — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:33:39 +0000

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
(Psalm 130:5,6)

Waiting. Each morning I arise and wonder, is this the day all loose ends will finally fall into place? And when, oh when will I have that visa?

Today, while out running under the gorgeous afternoon sunshine, I was reminded of Psalm 130. Over the years, I have often returned to this Psalm in times of waiting. For the time being, I’m occupying an in-between space with a pile of clothes and medicines stacked in a suitcase in one room and my 9-month old niece playing and learning to crawl in the next.

Throughout my life, running has been a stress release and spiritual practice. Today was no different. With each stride next to the dry sagebrush of southeastern Washington state, I pounded anxiety away and praying, hoping in God.

These thoughts have come to me because this date is about the time of my original anticipated departure for Indonesia. Or so says my letter of agreement, drafted and signed back in the fall. Though still young in years, I have lived enough life to know things don’t always go as planned. Waiting, I know, is hard; but God is still here. God is here in this ambiguous space, and though I am impatient, I have peace.

Back in late July, in those few days of waiting after my interview at ELCA headquarters in Chicago and before I knew I had this position, I came across a quote. At my church (Church of the Apostles), we always have “Open Space” in the middle of worship. It is a time for prayer, reflection, and interaction. With an unknown future on my heart and mind, I walked a labyrinth during the open space. In the center was this quote:

“…some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.” — Gilda Radner

It is nighttime now, and like in the Psalm, my soul waits more than those who watch for the morning. Tomorrow, I will arise again, and wonder, is this the day I will know when I’ll depart for Indonesia? Is this the end or the beginning? But, sometimes in the end is the beginning, and they are indistinguishable.

I take this time of waiting and delight in life’s many blessings, hoping for the many blessings soon to come. Delicious ambiguity, indeed.

Update and Snow

deacmegmeg — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:12:28 +0000

A brief update: Waiting is hard. I’ll have to wait a bit longer to leave than was first anticipated. Today I used my photography skills to set up a mini-studio in my parents’ home to take a photo of myself for the visa. It was specified that said photo needed to be 4cmx6cm and have a red background. So I set up tripod and camera, then crafted my background next to a lamp and ran back and forth using the self timer. I suspect not many people would have as much fun taking a self-portrait like that.

Now, to the snow. The state of Washington has been hit with a winter storm, bringing snow across the state. Earlier today I frolicked in the white powdery landscape, knowing a month from now I’ll be daily experiencing much warmer temperatures, trading the winter season for the wet season.

Below is a video I made at the end of December. Although with the most recent winter storm, the mountain pass has a lot more snow, I post this to show the beauty of the mountains in Washington state…and the snow. In the future, I hope to post more videos, as time and bandwidth from Indonesia allow.

Sumatra Blue Batak

deacmegmeg — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:59:37 +0000

I originally drafted this post at the end of December, but have not been able to finish and post it until now.

I was out for a walk and decided to stop at the Peet’s Coffee. In the shop I ordered some tea, but a sign caught my attention. The sign, drawn in chalk said “Sumatra Blue Batak.” They were advertising for a free tasting of that blend. Another sign read: “Deeply hued, meticulously selected beans from the ethnic Batak region. A sweet, heavy, and aromatic cup perfect for the winter months.”

My first reaction was that of excitement. It won’t be long before I will set foot on Sumatra, reside at the shore of Lake Toba beside some dramatic scenery, and live among a community of women. Yes, soon I will be surrounded by all things Batak. I smiled, and had my own private moment of joy while paying for my tea.

Then I realized the other side to this coffee offering. Sumatra is so distant to most people in the USA, that the word “Sumatra” becomes synonymous with coffee, an aromatic cup of “meticulously selected” and roasted coffee beans (for a limited time only!). Indeed, a common reaction to my explanation that I’m going to be in Indonesia on the island of Sumatra, has been,”Ohh…the coffee!”

North Americans are privileged to have a selection of coffees from the beans grown in every region where coffee is grown. Even though coffee is not grown in the US, we can purchase a blend of Sumatran, Ethiopian, Colombian, or other country any day of the year in a vast amount of coffee shops all over the country. And we can do this without much thought to how it was purchased, who grew it, the culture of the people named in the advert (in this instance, the Batak people), or how it changed hands into North America.

I did not sample the Sumatra Blue Batak blend, although I’m sure I would have enjoyed the taste. Instead, I decided to wait until I am in Sumatra to sample Sumatran coffee. There is more to Sumatra and to the Bataks than coffee, and I hope to listen to and share their stories.

Training in Toronto

deacmegmeg — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:31:31 +0000

I have kicked off my journey with ELCA Global Mission by a training event in Toronto. It is a 2-week event run by the Canadian Churches Forum on Global Ministries and includes other soon-to-be missionaries from various denominations in North America.

The program started last week and will continue through this week. Below is a photo of us Lutherans, hard at work.

Advent

deacmegmeg — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 08:14:31 +0000

I am in the waiting time. And as it is the season of Advent, I am also waiting for the birth of Christ, God with us. As I anticipate serving in Indonesia (in 2 months!), and meeting the beautiful community there, I also hold dear my community in Seattle. This photo is from my home, my community of Church of the Apostles. During every worship, we have a time called “open space” when we are free to move about, pray, sit—whatever. There are always places for us to reflect.

Blessed 3rd week of Advent.

Waiting. And Writer’s Block.

deacmegmeg — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 08:05:58 +0000

It is December. Somehow time has passed. It now gets dark at 4pm, while a blanket of gray covers the daylight. I have written several drafts of posts, but I haven’t finished any. I sit and stare at the nearly blank screen, sentence half written, and wonder how to communicate this inner process, the slow death of my life here. There are stages to this process…joy, elation, anticipation, anxiety, stress, mourning. There is fun, like imbibing on food (such as coconut porter beer w/a scoop of vanilla ice cream…yeah!), hanging out with friends, and attempting to learn Bahasa Indonesia. Then there is the stress of pulling together many details and signing papers.

I am in a time of waiting, even though there is plenty on my to-do list. Now just under two months until the intended departure from my country, to a new home and new community. My mind races with what I’m letting go, and what I’ll be receiving. But I’m still in waiting about the visa.

Perhaps that I am easily distracted, often tired, and full of so many thoughts, have contributed to my writers block. Until I regain my flow of writing, enjoy this picture below. It is one of the photos I included on the 2012 Calendar I just created. I thought I’d sell a few to my friends at church, and then posted about it on facebook. Well, people took note, and many wanted a copy. I’m so grateful, and it was fun to make. Below is the photo I selected for July—though it was taken in April 2010. I was on a retreat with my beloved community, Church of the Apostles. So those leaping silhouettes are people I care about and will miss…

Goodbye, Autumn

deacmegmeg — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 23:13:54 +0000

As the days draw nearer to the Winter Solstice, the trees have become increasingly bare. Their leaves fall from branches, showering the earth with a cascade of color. Wet and clumped together, the leaves cover sidewalks and dot the still green grass. This being the Pacific Northwest, there is still plenty of green and growth that will last even through winter. Here, the Autumn is a mystical time of changing colors, foggy mornings, and rain. When clouds part, the distant mountain ranges reveal freshly snow-covered jagged peaks, a grand contrast against a deep blue sky.

And I am in the process of saying goodbye to it all, wondering how the change of country, culture, and climate will change my faith.

I am reminded of something I wrote 10 years ago, when I was studying abroad in Tuebingen, Germany. I wrote this after taking a meditative walk, holding a leaf:

My leaf was wet with dew. I noticed the leaves as they fell, how some fell straight down to the ground, others fell on top of branches and bushes, and yet still more floated gracefully and gently to the earth. Each leaf has a different shape, size and color. The leaves that became dry were easily crunched. Every leaf that fell to the ground covered the ground and would someday become a part of the earth. This is a cycle, this is a season. The leaves that were on the trees have served their purpose and it is time to move on. In the spring, new leaves will take their places and it will happen again. My life has changed seasons…

I may not know completely, how the season of my life will change, but I trust God for the guidance, and wait with joy and expectation for what is to come in my new home and community in Indonesia.

Below are photos from walking in Seattle this year:

Click the link to expand the post and see a few more photos I have taken this autumn in Seattle.

Of Visas and Paperwork

deacmegmeg — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 02:05:06 +0000

Let the paperwork begin! This post is a quick update about my progress to Indonesia. I am now in the midst of completing the necessary paperwork for the ELCA as well as assembling some initial documents to send off for the visa.

For the visa, what I need at this time is diplomas and my TESL certificate. Then, I shall wait to hear what other stack of documents I’ll need to produce.

The photo is the student visa from the year I studied in Tuebingen, Germany. That visa is in a well-loved and well-used passport that expired earlier this year. Yes, I have a close relationship with all of my passports lined with the varied stamps and visas I have acquired in my travels throughout my lifetime. Like a photo album, each stamp has a story or multiple stories.

I am eagerly awaiting the stories yet to come from Indonesia and the other travel I may make in SE Asia while I live there. My renewed passport has empty pages and a stiff newness that needs to be broken in, stamped, and a fresh visa to cover the ueber-patriotic background.

Stay tuned.

On Missio Dei and What I’m Doing

deacmegmeg — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:26:17 +0000

I have already posted a page, that at this point, contains basic information about Indonesia, as well as a page about the global mission of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Here I will give some background about the work that I will be doing, though most will be discovered and shared with you as I live through it.

First, a little about naming this site. I have chosen the name missio dei, because it is Latin for “mission of God.” God is a missional God, creating, redeeming, and sustaining all life. Our vocational callings lead us to participate in this missio Dei of in relationship with the world around us—communally, locally, and globally. Although I have accepted a unique position in the church, to walk alongside sisters and brothers in another part of the world, the missio Dei is not solely the work of Pastors, Deaconess, Missionaries, or other trained ministers. It is God’s work, alive in the work of all God’s people in all areas of life and creation. Or, to borrow a phrase from the ELCA, “God’s work. Our hands.” Therefore, this blog is the written journey of one small piece of the whole; an exploration and sharing of accompaniment through my eyes, recognizing that so many people all over the world are also a part of the life-giving, reconciling work of God.

So, what will I be doing? To sum it up: teaching English at the Deaconess School of the Huria Kristen Batak Protestan (HKBP) in a small town of Balige, on the island of Sumatra in western Indonesia. The HKBP is a Lutheran church body of 4 million members that has been in existence for 150 years. Read more about the HKBP as well as how the ELCA has accompanied them in ministry here. As I teach English to young Indonesian women, themselves preparing for lives of ministry and service, I will live with them at the school and share in the communal life.

Also important, is that I will be learning much as well. Here, you will read stories of the journey, of the people, the things I learn about Indonesian culture, language, and life at the equator in Southeast Asia. It is important to stress that in this relational process, that there is much mutuality of giving and receiving.

So, dear readers, my hope is that you, too, may be transformed in this process—as I will be and those with whom I work. I believe this is the nature of our God.

Twenty-Two

deacmegmeg — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 05:05:29 +0000

For a little bit of insight into the past year of my life, I share this number. Twenty-two is the number of US states I have been to since September 2010. Well, the number is actually 23 counting the District of Columbia, which isn’t a state (but should be).

Here they are, in no particular order: Washington, Oregon, Idaho, California, North Dakota, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Virginia, the District of Columbia, Maryland, Oklahoma, Texas, Tennessee, and Kentucky. The final four being states I hadn’t been to before.

How is it that I managed to visit nearly half the 50 US states within 12 months? Mostly because I had a temporary job as a traveling recruiter for the Lutheran Volunteer Corps (LVC), something similar to AmeriCorps. For six months, between September ’10 and February ’11, I was paid to travel, back and forth from DC (where LVC’s main office is located), to universities across the country, seeking young people interested in committing a year of their lives to intentional community, sustainability, and social justice.

For the job, I traveled via planes, trains, and automobiles; I attended career fairs, some specifically for non-profits/service work; held a few information sessions; sat at tables during lunch time; met with campus ministries; contacted career centers at universities LVC had never been to before; and, of course, spent many hours planning travel arrangements, and contacting various people.

It was seriously an amazing (and at times, stressful) series of trips: places in WI, IL, IN, OH in early October; southern CA in late October; MN, IA, and NE in Nov; San Francisco, the Bay Area, and Fargo, ND in early February; TN and GA in late Feb; and many more in between. In the months since returning to Seattle in March, I have traveled quite a bit too, though not nearly as often.

Why does this matter now? In many ways, I have not had the typical year: I left my home in Seattle, packed most of my belongings into storage, and spend half of the six month job living in DC and the other half on the road. Travel has, of course, always been a passion of mine, and I already was well-traveled. This position offered me the unique opportunity to combine work with travel—to talk about an organization I care about, while seeing friends and family along the way.

As I reflect on what it will mean to leave the country for 2 years, I am grateful for all the time to see cities, family, and friends across the country I would otherwise have not been able to see in a year’s time, and could not afford to see now.

The travel in twenty-two states (plus DC) stirred discernment within me, and the decision to apply for global mission became clear just days after returning to Seattle in March. Global mission had been on my mind for a number of years, and I realized this was the time to go for it.

So tonight I give thank to a stressful, yet amazing year of opportunity, blessing, and travel, and look forward to the years to come.